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recollections of an artist

There is this universal idea that we all naturally have that once boundaries are set, like a wall or a fence, we suddenly must accept them as truth.  But what if we are stuck?  Does this mean we have to permanently continue on never getting to where we really want to go?  Throughout the history of art there have been artists that have constantly broken out of these “systems” because they were no longer fulfilling new ideas.  Jackson Pollock for instance, was part of a movement that emphasized this idea of process.  His paintings were rejected in the beginning because “anyone could do it”.  The point was though that anyone could have done it, but HE did it.  And he stood behind the work regardless of what was going on in contemporary art at the time.

This morning I was watching Office Space, a movie I had seen many many years ago, but recently borrowed from a friend to watch again.  The song playing in the background in this scene has been stuck in my head all day.  I walked everywhere today with my earbuds in listening to this song on repeat and thinking, damn it feels good to be an Anna today!  Time seemed to move a bit slower and that moment when I stepped out into the sunshine and the warm sunlight hit my face lasted just a little longer.  I loved thinking of that part in the scene of the movie when he unbolts the wall in his cubicle to reveal the windows and he can feel the sun illuminating his own face.  Of course, this is a more literal, “breaking out of the box” but what I enjoyed is that in both examples I gave, each one leaves me with the feeling of anything is possible AND anything can be done if I am ready to take that next step of tearing down boundaries.

For myself, I see my outside boundaries, but also internal ones.  I want to be able to find my own bucket of paint to pour or my own drill to deconstruct a wall with so I can walk through some of these self-imposed boundaries.  It becomes about identifying first what they are and then evaluating what part of them I can change to get something to work for me.  And maybe then I can breathe a little slower, decrease my walking pace just a bit and say, “Is it more important to fight for containment out of fear, leap through a door in a hurry, crouch in front of a giant wall in discouragement, leap over a fence in a desperate attempt to be anywhere but where I am or, does it matter?”

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