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recollections of an artist

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Yesterday I was searching through some old photos and came across this one from earlier in the spring.  This piece I had worked on for a several months and was a part of my thesis show.  It was a very spur of the moment photo taken someone who was interviewing me about my work.  What I love about it so much is that the drawing is so precise, thought out and in the process of development.  Meanwhile, I’m sitting in a pile of magazine scraps, glue, paper, scissors and thread working on it.  The best part being that my outfit ironically matched with all of it.  I almost never wear red, but I use it so much in my artwork.  This photo reminds me of a certain point in time.  I can remember what I was thinking here, what time of year it was and where I was with my work.  It’s nice to look back at it and see that piece now that I know how it turned out in the end.  Similarly, it’s also nice to see myself, now that I know how I am turning out.  A lot has changed since then.  I graduated, grew out my hair, moved studios, started new work and have sold that piece.

My memory has always been dicey.  Certain traumatic events in my life altered the way I stored memories so I wouldn’t be overwhelmed.  The unfortunate part is, some of the good memories got scooped up too.  So photos for me are invaluable because they retrieve those memories that are hidden from me.  The only constant in life is change, so seeing change in this photo isn’t surprising.  However, I am intrigued by the things that stayed the same; for instance, I still have that pink travel mug that sits on the windowsill of my old studio.  Neither is good or bad, but when I look at this photo I get the pleasure of noticing those small moments in time.  I will post a new photo soon of myself working on a piece in my new studio.  Growing and changing is a privilege.  Not everyone is able to have that experience. Even in this moment, when I am struggling in my life, I can look at this photo and remember that this too shall pass.  And that’s something to be grateful for.

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