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recollections of an artist

In our day to day lives, we are always confronted with choices.  What to eat for breakfast, jacket vs sweater, does this painting need more blue paint?  So is it true to say that we are in constant danger of “running off the road”.  How much of our decision making plays into where we go and which way the steering wheel turns?

I constantly move back and forth between wanting to know exactly where I am going and being able to trust that I am on the right “road”.  Of course, I will never be able to get an answer either way, but that hasn’t stopped me in the past from trying.  In fact, I’m not sure I can even be certain that I know which decisions are the more important, life altering ones and which are routine.  With that in mind, is it even possible to avoid running off the road?  Or minimizing all danger that could cause a detour?

Recently I have begun to think of my journey as just that.  A journey.  Somehow, by putting the destination aside and looking at only the next curve of the road in front of me, decisions suddenly become more of a process instead of a lesson in right or wrong.  For instance, when creating a piece, I love to experiment and try out new approaches or use new materials.  Sometimes, these explorations in my work  produce results that I wouldn’t have been able to discover if I stayed on my usual “road”.  And, at the same time, sometimes it goes horribly wrong. I don’t believe that this “running off the road” makes me less of an artist.  It was simply a way to see the importance of certain aspects in my process.

I will be checking in regarding how this thinking pans out, but for now, instead of asking, “Are we always in danger of running off the road” I will begin asking, “Is there really any danger at all in running off the road?”.

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