recollections of an artist

Art is often referred to as a form of expression.  There are whole groups of artists who have been classified as Expressionists.  The term expressionism is even coupled with certain countries, like German Expressionism.  And of course, expressionism has many branches that link off to other, more specific forms, such as abstract expressionism or neo expressionism.  Initially arising in poetry and painting, it evolved into an entire label for artist, performers, and musicians alike.  Some could even argue that the arts in general inherently hold properties of expression.

Artistic style in which the artist seeks to depict not objective reality but rather the subjective emotions and responses the objects and events arouse in him (or her) is what characterizes expressionism.  Given this definition, what does that imply about artists that are often paired, by society, with seemingly being expressive? That somehow by labeling myself as an artist, I am also stating that I am able to visually express my subjective emotion? And if so, what happens when an artist who is often disconnected from both objective reality and subjective emotion tries to make art?

Part of my process attempts to explore my unrealized responses.  I chose to pursue a passion that automatically indicates that I know these subjective ideas and enjoy approaching the task of trying to construct them into reality.

In this equation of objects, objectives, obligations and observations, is there an obvious answer to my mathematical art problem?  The plots on my imaginary graph would indicate that there is a strong correlation with the growth in my art and my evolving understanding of my own feelings and responses.  I’d like to think that those two things are directly related.  The idea that I lack the ability to be expressive is almost as gut wrenching as my current inability to usually be able to identify what I’m feeling.  I suppose all along I’ve had this idea that one of the byproducts of my work would be that I could more clearly articulate my motive behind my expression.  Essentially, what makes me “tick”.  Here is where I see that this self reflection, with or without conclusions, fuels the continued creation of my work.  By reflecting back on what I cannot readily see, I end up expressing.  Expression suddenly is the equation, solution and byproduct in my art, rather than the missing link. At the end of the day, that’s really all I’ve ever really wanted – to get out of math class and onto a playground for self-expression.


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